


let me in the walls

by theladiesyouhate



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Multi, Speculative, just me playing around with my new favorite OT3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 17:09:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7853788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theladiesyouhate/pseuds/theladiesyouhate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three different perspectives on fear and reasons to fight.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let me in the walls

**Author's Note:**

> I can't believe I'm the first person to write a Bodhi fic.
> 
> This fic is partially indebted to smoljyn on Tumblr, who's with me in Jyn/Cassian/Bodhi OT3 hell. Even though the movie hasn't come out yet, I'm already in love with these three characters and their possible dynamics. This is mostly an exercise in trying to get into these characters' heads, as well as a warm up getting back into fanfiction. Also I couldn't help it - this fandom needs more OT3 goodness.
> 
> Unbetaed and written in like five minutes. Sorry about that.

Jyn still seeks out escapes, the door that will allow her to run free and fast and far.

That’s how she stayed alive after all. Look for the quickest way out of a sticky situation and never stick your neck out for anyone else. When that’s all that’s keeping you alive, it’s hard to let go. Even when there is finally, finally a reason to move on.

They’re just back from a rough mission. Five soldiers lost under her and Cassian’s command. After being debriefed, Jyn can’t help but watch the survivors mourn. There’s a place in her heart that throbs painfully as she remembers the lost look on Baze’s face when Chirrut...

No. She can’t think of that now.

Part of her wants to run. All this death, this uncertainty. She’s done enough for the rebellion and she’s so damn tired. Tired of hard missions and of burying friends. She’s done enough. They all have at this point.

Maybe it’s time to go.

The thought springs unbidden to her mind and for a moment Jyn lets herself imagine running. Just leaving and finding a small place to live in peace, away from the Rebellion and the Empire.

And then she sees Cassian and Bodhi and that desire vanishes.

Bodhi is clearly angry, judging by the set of his shoulders and mouth. Cassian is bandaging his arm; he’s talking, but Jyn can’t hear what he says from where she’s standing. After he ties off the bandage he leans forward to brush a few strands of hair out of Bodhi’s face before pressing a kiss to his forehead. All the tension melts away as Bodhi melts, leaning into Cassian and reaching with his good hand to grab his arm.

Jyn feels her resolve melt too. She can’t leave them both, not now. Not ever, maybe, but that thought scares her more than the thought of death at the hands of the Empire. She’s never had people to call her own before, and yet here they are. Just as messy as she is.

She heads over to them and drops down next to Cassian. Cassian smiles warmly at her and leans over to give her a kiss on the cheek. Across from her, Bodhi manages a small smile.

“No more close calls,” Jyn says cooly. “Rook, that means you.”

Bodhi’s smile grows a little, even as he feigns being annoyed. “Listen, if you two weren’t hellbent on getting yourself killed, I wouldn’t have to risk life and limb to save you. Which this nearly was by the way, I could’ve lost my arm.”

“You’re being dramatic,” Cassian says, voice fond. “It’s a scratch.”

“That’s what you say, but an inch more and I’d have lost my arm, and then where would you be?”

The bickering goes back and forth as Jyn settles herself against Cassian. She’d usually join in but she’s tired now, and she just wants to bask in the presence of her two favorite people.

When she escapes, she thinks she might take them with her.

 

* * *

 

 

Bodhi doesn’t fear death. He doesn’t like the idea and would prefer not to die, but it’s not his greatest fear.

His nightmare is the Empire taking what he has away from him again.

They took everything when they came to Jedha. His mother was murdered in the street for speaking out against them. His father was dragged off in the middle of the night not long after. The Empire didn’t care about a boy of twelve starving on the streets until he turned sixteen. That’s when they took his freedom.

The story has a happy ending at least. Bodhi won back his freedom, found himself a new family, even managed to strike a killing blow to the man who gave the order to destroy his home planet and every trace left of his parents.

But even now, he still dreams they’ll come back.

He dreams he’s landing on the battlefield back on Scarif and he runs, runs and runs, until he finds them. Chirrut still dead and gone. Baze at his side this time. Kaytoo scattered into bits.

Jyn, covered in blood. Cassian’s kind eyes open and empty.

Krennic is there, and this time Bodhi isn’t fast enough, isn’t strong enough. Krennic pins him down and forces him to stare at the bodies of his family.

“You thought you could get away,” he hisses, “but you’ll never escape.”

Bodhi struggles and cries out and begs any power listening to help, to bring them back, please —

And then he’ll wake up, warm and safe.

He’s tucked into Cassian’s side, listening to his heartbeat. Jyn is pressed protectively against Cassian’s other side, one arm draped across him.

They are both alive. They are both here. The Empire hasn’t taken them from him yet.

Bodhi sighs and relaxes into Cassian’s embrace. He’s not sure what he’s done to deserve these two, or what they see in him, but he’s so kriffing happy they chose him.

This time, if the Empire comes back, he’ll be able to fight back. They won’t take his family away again.

 

* * *

 

 

Cassian preferred a lonely life. It was easier than saying goodbye.

He knew that opening up to anyone in the Rebellion meant there was a high probability that the relationship would end with pain and grief. He couldn’t bear losing more people close to him, and he didn’t want to leave someone else with that pain.

So he kept to himself. Kaytoo was good company and he truly considered the droid a friend, and that was enough. It would be enough.

But then came Jyn, with her defiant attitude and her natural leadership. Shortly after came Bodhi, who hid his courage and soft heart under a layer of anxiety and anger. They were...unexpected, to say the least. But Cassian could feel his resolve weakening every time he was around them.

At first he shied away from the developing feelings between the three of them. He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost either of them, and he couldn’t inflict the same agony on two people he cared so much for. He insisted that this was the only way for them all to be happy.

As it turns out, they had other plans.

“We’ve talked this through,” Jyn said fiercely. “Why waste whatever time we’ve got on pretending that we don’t feel this way?”

Bodhi, hovering anxiously near the door, nodded. He was polishing his goggles, which Cassian knew meant he was nervous. “Seems stupid to not act on it.”

Cassian knew at that moment his personal rule had to be broken.

He worries constantly. Every time there’s a mission, he kisses them both fiercely, like it’s the last time. And afterwards he counts the dead until he sees them both alive and whole.

But the fear is nothing compared to the joy. The three of them are as happy as they can be given the circumstances. It might only be stolen moments of joy between missions, but it’s enough to sustain him.

He dreamt of a better future when he joined the Rebellion. Now he knows that when they win, he’ll face that future with Jyn and Bodhi at his side. That seems like a true victory.


End file.
